Have you or someone you love recently lost a child who's age 18 or under? Pregnancy loss and an adoption falling through are included in those families we serve.
Showing posts with label child loss awareness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label child loss awareness. Show all posts
Saturday, February 1, 2025
Tuesday, November 23, 2021
a brief review of 2020-21
First, I must start with a big THANK YOU to all our supporters, any way you support us is meaningful and helpful. Thank you for praying, giving, and sharing! Keep it up! Here are a few things of note from the past two years:
- August 2021 marked FIVE years since Sent from Heaven started! Woo hoo!
- In 2020, 22 care packages were delivered by mail or picked up by the requestor. This number was down from 51 in 2019, our highest number of packages in a year to date. This was expected considering the vast effects of the pandemic.
- So far in 2021, 20 care packages have been delivered.
- Three modified care packages were sent overseas to Asia, and I know at least one has arrived!
- Financial support has remained steady, allowing us to continue sending care packages by mail when needed. However, the price to send a flat rate medium box has gone up again to $16.25!
What can you do for us?
- Pray for our reach and the grieving families. Pray these families would be able to see hope in the midst of their great pain.
- Give financially. You can do this online or by sending a check with "Sent from Heaven" in the memo to Sierra Baptist Church in Visalia.
- https://paypal.me/sentfromheavenca?country.x=US&locale.x=en_USWe could use a little help with our online presence, if anyone has ideas or wants to pitch in with that.
- Spread the word about Sent from Heaven however you can--online or in person! If you'd like some of our business cards and/or postcards for passing out, we would love to get some to you.
- If you're on Facebook, please navigate to our page and leave a review.
We hope you have a peaceful and blessed holiday season!
Saturday, August 3, 2019
Faith Over Fear Shirt Ordering
Wear these shirts to:
- Honor your child in heaven
- Show solidarity with men and women who have lost a child
- Support Sent from Heaven and families who have lost a child
- Bring awareness to child loss (especially during the upcoming Child Loss Awareness Month in October)
- Remind yourself and show the world that FAITH can overcome FEAR
Saturday, March 16, 2019
dreams for the future
- Hire a social media guru (an intern or volunteer would be great!)
- Create a board of directors that meets regularly and volunteers to help with what we're doing
- Hold memorial services for families who have received baskets at least twice a year
- Hold an annual couple's retreat for those who have lost a child
- Learn more about the grieving process
- Advocate for bereavement days at work after miscarriage
- Open other Sent from Heaven chapters around the nation
Wednesday, September 19, 2018
What can you donate for Child Loss Awareness Month 2018?
$25 purchases a journal, tissue, snacks, and more for a care package
$50 gifts jewelry for several grieving mamas
$100 sponsors our October Balloon Release for package recipients
$200 pays for marketing materials and supplies
$350 helps us reach our grieving community
$500 sponsors our silent auction event
$1,000 gives hope to many who need it
Thursday, September 13, 2018
What you can do for Child Loss Awareness Month 2018
- Give. Click the "Donate" button below to give a one-time or monthly donation. Each October we have had successful online fundraisers for Child Loss Awareness Month. If you'd like to give in honor of a child who isn't your own, please make a note of that and we'll contact you so we can send along a special note to the family of the child.
Thank you for your support and consideration!
Wednesday, November 15, 2017
1 Year, 1-a-Week Journal Prompts for Bereaved Parents by Aubin
As a parent who has lost a child I know how hard it can be to work through that grief and pain. When my son Liam was born very sick in 2011, I needed an outlet and a way to remember the ups and downs of the NICU and the CDH journey. I found writing in a journal or even blogging helped me better than anything else. I could be completely honest in my journal without fear of judgment. Sometimes all I needed was to write down all my fears and worries to work past them. So why would my grief be any different? I decided to start actively working through my grief through journaling and wanted to share these prompts with you. If you use all of them, you'll have enough to write one journal entry for a whole year.
1) What would you like other people to know or do after someone loses a child?
2) Describe a time you told someone (who didn't already know) about your loss.
3) What has been confusing during your grief?
4) What has been surprising during your grief?
5) What have you been thankful for during your grief?
6) How did you choose your child's name?
7) What do you now find difficult to do that you didn't before you lost a child?
8) If I could tell my child something, I would say...
9) Some well-meaning but hurtful things people have said or done are...
10) What are some secondary losses from the loss of your child.
11) Try writing your child's story in 100 words or less.
12) What quote or scripture has been meaningful or comforting? Why?
13) Write a bucket list for yourself.
14) Plan something in honor of your child on a day that means something.
15) Write a letter to your child.
16) Write an acrostic poem using your child's name.
17) Make a list of goals for yourself that you hope to accomplish by a year from now or what you would like to be different in a year.
18) Create a word cloud, print it or paste it in your paper journal or on your blog. You can use Wordle or Tagxedo.
19) What have you learned about yourself through the loss of your child?
20) How do you feel different than you did before you lost your child?
21) Have your priorities changed since you lost your child?
22) Pick a common, well-meaning quote someone has said to you. Do you believe that it's true? Why or why not?
23) What do you do when you feel like you're the only one grieving?
24) Has your faith changed? How?
25) What are the ways of grieving you feel society expects of you because you are a man or woman? Do you break these "rules"?
26) Which ways of grieving seem to bring you and your partner closer? Further apart?
27) What is one of your favorite memories from your child's life, even if he/she only lived in the womb?
28) What would you like your friends and family to do to honor and remember your child?
29) Is there anything that happens or anything you do that makes you feel most connected to your child?
30) What song has been meaningful or comforting? Why?
31) Write a list of words that describe your child.
32) If you could keep only one memory of your child, what would it be?
33) When you're having a particularly hard day, week, etc, what do you wish others would understand?
34) What are the questions people asked that you appreciated?
35) How have your relationships changed since you lost your child?
36) Do you have any new fears or worries since you lost your child?
37) How has your response to grief been different from those closest to you?
38) What emotion has been the most overwhelming through your grief?
39) What unanswered questions do you have?
40) What things are you still able to find joy in?
41) "Grief ambushes" are times when you experience a flood of emotions at an unexpected time. Describe some of the grief ambushes you have experienced.
42) Do you think your grief will ever end? Why or why not?
43) Although the Bible shares specific details about heaven, our human understanding is limited. What do you wish you knew about heaven?
44) Identify your own ideas about how you as a man or woman are supposed to "handle" your grief. Are you following these ideas?
45) No one can imagine what it's like to lose a child until they have actually experienced it. Has anything about your grief journey been different than you imagined it would be?
46) Are you doing anything unhealthy in response to grief or are you tempted to?
47) If death is a natural process of life, why do you think so many people act uncomfortable talking about it and various aspects of grief?
48) Identify the physical, emotional, and spiritual needs you have right now.
49) Has anyone said anything that made you feel they were trying to rush you through your grief?
50) How can you use your grief journey to help others?
51) Is anger about the loss of your child a good or bad thing?
52) How has grief impacted you physically?
53) Name a flower than reminds you of your child.
1) What would you like other people to know or do after someone loses a child?
2) Describe a time you told someone (who didn't already know) about your loss.
3) What has been confusing during your grief?
4) What has been surprising during your grief?
5) What have you been thankful for during your grief?
6) How did you choose your child's name?
7) What do you now find difficult to do that you didn't before you lost a child?
8) If I could tell my child something, I would say...
9) Some well-meaning but hurtful things people have said or done are...
10) What are some secondary losses from the loss of your child.
11) Try writing your child's story in 100 words or less.
12) What quote or scripture has been meaningful or comforting? Why?
13) Write a bucket list for yourself.
14) Plan something in honor of your child on a day that means something.
15) Write a letter to your child.
16) Write an acrostic poem using your child's name.
17) Make a list of goals for yourself that you hope to accomplish by a year from now or what you would like to be different in a year.
18) Create a word cloud, print it or paste it in your paper journal or on your blog. You can use Wordle or Tagxedo.
19) What have you learned about yourself through the loss of your child?
20) How do you feel different than you did before you lost your child?
21) Have your priorities changed since you lost your child?
22) Pick a common, well-meaning quote someone has said to you. Do you believe that it's true? Why or why not?
23) What do you do when you feel like you're the only one grieving?
24) Has your faith changed? How?
25) What are the ways of grieving you feel society expects of you because you are a man or woman? Do you break these "rules"?
26) Which ways of grieving seem to bring you and your partner closer? Further apart?
27) What is one of your favorite memories from your child's life, even if he/she only lived in the womb?
28) What would you like your friends and family to do to honor and remember your child?
29) Is there anything that happens or anything you do that makes you feel most connected to your child?
30) What song has been meaningful or comforting? Why?
31) Write a list of words that describe your child.
32) If you could keep only one memory of your child, what would it be?
33) When you're having a particularly hard day, week, etc, what do you wish others would understand?
34) What are the questions people asked that you appreciated?
35) How have your relationships changed since you lost your child?
36) Do you have any new fears or worries since you lost your child?
37) How has your response to grief been different from those closest to you?
38) What emotion has been the most overwhelming through your grief?
39) What unanswered questions do you have?
40) What things are you still able to find joy in?
41) "Grief ambushes" are times when you experience a flood of emotions at an unexpected time. Describe some of the grief ambushes you have experienced.
42) Do you think your grief will ever end? Why or why not?
43) Although the Bible shares specific details about heaven, our human understanding is limited. What do you wish you knew about heaven?
44) Identify your own ideas about how you as a man or woman are supposed to "handle" your grief. Are you following these ideas?
45) No one can imagine what it's like to lose a child until they have actually experienced it. Has anything about your grief journey been different than you imagined it would be?
46) Are you doing anything unhealthy in response to grief or are you tempted to?
47) If death is a natural process of life, why do you think so many people act uncomfortable talking about it and various aspects of grief?
48) Identify the physical, emotional, and spiritual needs you have right now.
49) Has anyone said anything that made you feel they were trying to rush you through your grief?
50) How can you use your grief journey to help others?
51) Is anger about the loss of your child a good or bad thing?
52) How has grief impacted you physically?
53) Name a flower than reminds you of your child.
Thursday, November 9, 2017
Child Loss Memorial 2017
October is child loss awareness month and this year we held our very first memorial service to remember our babies gone too soon.
We invited our guests to write the names of their angels on our chalk board, allowing us to see them and pray for each and every one of their parents.
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We invited our guests to write the names of their angels on our chalk board, allowing us to see them and pray for each and every one of their parents.
Aubin opened up the service by thanking everyone who came and talking about how she faces each day after her loss.
Candace and Rob Feely blessed us with beautiful music to worship God too.
Kim, the nurse from Care Pregnancy Resource Center came and spoke to us about the importance of our ministry as well as what they do at CPRC.
Amanda spoke about Psalm 13, 40:1-2 and 23. John 3:16. It was a powerful message of hope.
Amanda also took the time to record her message and you can view it here:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e9HCwkSQDWY&feature=youtu.be
We provided paper for our guests to write letters to their angels to attach to balloons we released.
It was a beautiful moment as we let them fly. Everyone took a moment to take in the scene and many of us teared up.
Amanda and I would like to thank everyone who came to support the families who have suffered the loss of a child. We also want to thank everyone for supporting our ministry and making it possible for us to help others through their pain. God has blessed us with the passion to share our stories and help others and paved a way for our work through each and every one of you. Thank you!
Saturday, October 28, 2017
Vanessa's story
At my ten-week routine doctor’s appointment for the pregnancy, which in this case happened to be the one that consisted of a physical examination, the nurse practitioner made the determination that everything was going well to date and there were no concerns to report, as I expected. Body looked good, history was good, bloodwork looked fine, urine test revealed nothing, everything was in order. The final event for the appointment was to hear the heartbeat for the first time! She got out the Doppler fetal heart rate monitor to listen for baby’s heartbeat. After putting the warm gel on my belly and trying for a few minutes, she found a heartbeat! Quickly followed by a “Whoop. That’s yours. Not baby’s.” Before giving up less than a minute later, she told me not to worry about it. She told me that often the baby is still too little to hear the heartbeat at ten weeks old, and usually at 12 weeks there is more of a guarantee that you’ll be able to hear it.
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| Vanessa and her family prior to their loss |
The following week, at 11 weeks and 6 days, I found myself in the grocery store trying not to panic. I had a cart full of groceries and was nearing the front of the store to check out when I began bleeding. I literally stopped dead in my tracks, numb and paralyzed by disbelief that this was happening. I wanted to tell myself that everything was okay and this was normal. “It happens all the time, to many women, throughout various stages of pregnancy. It happened to me with the twins, and they are fantastic. They are healthy, happy, and now 14 months old. I’m fine. It will be fine.”
I rushed to the bathroom, leaving my cart filled with groceries right outside the door and thinking “Great. Just what I needed. A cart filled with groceries, much of it frozen, and now this disaster. I’m going to make a scene regardless of how I get out of here and what that entails.” To my dismay, I had already bled through my panties and some on to my shorts. In the excitement of pregnancy, one of the first things I (and I’m sure many other women as well) did was to rid my purse of all pads and tampons. Sort of like a mini early pregnancy celebration. “Screw you guys. Won’t be needing you for a while. I’m gonna have a baby! Ha!” At that exact moment in the grocery store bathroom, blood on my hands and pants, I greatly regretted that decision.
As I walked toward the emergency room about an hour later, calmly processing my thoughts and trying not to let my mind race, my heart began beating faster and faster. It became less and less possible to control my racing mind and keep myself from being mentally paralyzed; numb after succumbing to all the fears that were fast tracking through my thoughts all at once in a flurry. Everything in me wanted to turn around. “Go back to the car and go home. If I go home, pretend everything is normal, get in bed with my husband and go to sleep, when I wake up tomorrow everything will be fine. This will all just go away. It can’t really be happening.”
I had kept myself relatively calm over the last hour as I made preparations to go to the emergency room, but as I walked through the glass double doors, I felt myself start to disintegrate. I knew if I said it out loud, somebody else would know, and the weight of it would hit me like a ton of bricks and suddenly be real. I stopped at the triage desk, took a couple of deep breaths, and forced the words out. “I’m 12 weeks pregnant. And I’m bleeding.” There. I said it. It’s out now. It’s real. We have to handle this. I’m here and they’re going to tell me what is going on.
They got me in rather quickly, which is saying something for an emergency room. They drew blood, took a urine sample, and shortly thereafter called me back for an ultrasound. They came to get me in a wheelchair, and then forced me to sit in it. Little by little, they were crumbling the picture of perfection that I had in my mind. There is nothing wrong with me. I don’t want to sit in a wheelchair. “It’s just a precaution; just relax and I’ll push you,” the nurse calmly told me as she smiled. I already had to say out loud that I’m bleeding. And now I’m riding past everybody in a wheelchair. I felt like all the faces staring at me already knew what I didn’t want to know or admit.
After the ultrasound, they put me in a room and shut the door. My heart started to sink, little by little. I didn’t even want to know what the results were. As my mind raced through all the possible options, my body wanted to get up and leave, as panic again overtook me. Just go home. Leave. It doesn’t matter what they say. Everything is going to be fine. Nothing could have prepared my mommy heart for the ultimate reality of what was about to happen.
The “provider” came in and introduced herself. She then proceeded calmly, as if she was sharing with somebody what she had eaten for breakfast that morning, “So, there was no cardiac activity detected during the ultrasound. And you’re 12 weeks pregnant according to our calculations, but the baby is only measuring 9 weeks. So it looks like the baby passed away about 3 weeks ago and your body is just now realizing it and trying to catch up. It should pass on its own no problem, now that the process has started, but if it doesn’t we will remove it in 5 days.”
Do you remember that feeling from grade school, after falling from the monkey bars? Even though it’s not that big of a deal to get the wind knocked out of you, which you don’t find out until later, you’re certain for a few seconds that you must be dying. Blurred vision, no breath, impossible to breathe, back hurts. That’s what it felt like. I couldn’t move. She trailed off with “Do you have any questions?” I calmly answered “No” while in my mind I pictured myself screaming at her; “What the hell are you talking about??? What is wrong with you? Why would you say that?? How can you stand there and talk about this like it’s nothing?” I left the emergency room numb; in complete disbelief about what had just happened, but to the best of my ability letting my new reality slowly sink in.
That moment was the start of twelve long and excruciating weeks of miscarriage. It’s bad enough that it snuck up on me; like a spider. Those creepy jumping ones; you feel like they’re looking at you and can take direct aim before they jump, landing right on your face or wherever else they so desire – all the while paralyzing you. But then, as if that wasn’t enough, it took twelve weeks to go away. My body had failed me, and my baby, and I had twelve weeks of constant reminder as the process slowly completed and things resumed to “normal” ….. whatever that meant after surviving miscarriage.
Miscarriage is for some reason one of those cultural taboos that people are ashamed of. We don’t talk about it for fear of being judged. We don’t really bring it up often or mention it, for fear of people “knowing” what happened. The FACT is that miscarriage hurts. There’s nothing I could have done to prevent it, or change it, or make it better. It wasn’t my fault. It was just one of those things that happens. We will never know the “why”. But even if we did, it still wouldn’t change anything. It happened. It hurt. Not just emotionally, but physically as well. It took a long time to process. I felt trapped inside my own body, and I wanted to get out. I needed some alone time to be separated from me, but there I was every day when I looked in the mirror.
It’s hard to understand and even harder to explain. I’m so in love with that baby. I will forever miss that baby. A little piece of my heart died with that baby. Yet, I never even met that baby. Nobody can understand what it’s like to be in love with a stranger, unless they’ve been through it themselves. Here’s what I know for sure. You’ll need help. TALK about it. Share about it. Write about it. Cry about it. Scream about it. You need friends, family, strangers, church, support groups, grief counseling. You need some of it; you may need all of it. Together we are stronger. It’s okay to cry and it’s definitely okay to let others cry with you. Ignore the people who say the things that seem senseless or insensitive. They simply don’t know what to say, and they’re doing the best they can.
Ask questions. Even the ones that seem like nobody would want to be asked. Ask about the process. Ask if what your body is doing is normal. Don’t be embarrassed. Reach out to others who have had a miscarriage. And most of all, hang in there. Love yourself and your body for how hard it tried. Lean on your faith. If you’ve lost faith, find someone who still has it… or who can look back on a miscarriage with faith intact and know why it’s okay, even if it doesn’t make sense. It’s hard, but you’ll make it.
Our rainbow boy came one year and eleven days after my miscarriage. As beautiful as he is, and thankful as I am, it doesn’t change anything about the miscarriage. It’s not any easier to miss that baby, or wonder about that baby, or remember what I endured emotionally or physically. But it reminds me that God is faithful. He loves us. He wants good for us. He wants to bless us. He has a plan up His sleeve. I’m thankful that my heart knows miscarriage, so I can love on and cry with those whose hearts are now experiencing it. I am humbled by the minute understanding I have of what loss feels like, and my heart is forever changed in relating to those who endure numerous losses, or failed IVF cycles, or simply can’t get pregnant.
Miscarriage is ugly, but it’s real. It will be easier than it is right now, if you’re going through a miscarriage. It gets better than it feels right now. Keep the faith, keep the hope; stay surrounded by people who love and care for you. Do whatever helps you grieve. Find ways to remember your baby. You’ll make it out alive and stronger on the other side. Promise.
Read Vanessa's full story: digital version or print version
Read Vanessa's full story: digital version or print version
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| Vanessa with her husband and rainbow baby, Levi, who's now about 4 months old |
Monday, October 9, 2017
What can I do for Child Loss Awareness Month?
- Reach out to someone you know lost a child. Send a simple note saying, "I'm remembering the child you lost this month with you. I miss him, too."
- Post on social media about Child Loss Awareness Month. Use the graphic we have here or any number of the ones we share on Facebook.
- Add a temporary Child Loss Awareness frame to your Facebook photo. Search for one on Google; they're easy to find, or look for one to be posted.
- If you have lost a child, share your story, privately with a friend, or publicly. We're always looking for more stories to add to our website as resources for families who receive our packages. We don't want them to feel alone in their loss or the feelings they have.
- Light a candle from 7-8pm on October 15 to participate in the worldwide Wave of Light in remembrance of all the children gone too soon. And, be sure to let others know you're participating!
- Attend a child loss memorial service and/or invite a friend to one. We're hosting one this year on October 21 at 10am. Look for the details on our Facebook page.
- Wear a pink and blue ribbon. Add one to your car.
- Give. Click the "Donate" button in the sidebar of our page to give a one-time or monthly donation. We can't keep providing this service without YOUR HELP! The retail value of our packages starts at $90. We carefully select and purchase every book on grief from the money that's donated to us, which costs $10-$15 each. We also purchase the jewelry and meal gift cards. All of these items are costly, but are some of the most appreciated pieces of our packages.
Thank you for your support and consideration!
We were on the local radio station!
One day in August, Aubin was on her way to Amanda's house to discuss upcoming things for Sent from Heaven when she heard them asking people to call in to talk about miscarriage. Coincidence? I think not! We listened for a few minutes, and then called the studio. We spoke to John McCollough of the Rob and John Show on Spirit 88.9 and he invited us to be guests on their show!! We had a wonderful time visiting with Rob and John, and are so grateful for the opportunity to share our ministry with listeners all over the Central Valley!
You can catch our full interview on their website or podcast.
Read More »
You can catch our full interview on their website or podcast.
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| We love Spirit radio and listen anytime we're in the car! |
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| With Rob and John in the recording studio |
Tuesday, May 9, 2017
Nicole's Story
I met my husband William, who has been called Tiger since
childhood, in 2002. We had our first son in 2004. He was the first of four sons
we had, all whom were born “sick” in one way or another. Our first two sons
were both born with Congenital Diaphragmatic Hernia (CDH). CDH is a birth
defect where the diaphragm doesn’t form properly in the womb. The exact cause
of this is unknown, though researchers believe it’s caused by both genetic and
environmental factors. Our firstborn spent 19 days in the NICU and had surgery
at just 8 days old. He’s one of a small percentage of CDH survivors, and now
attends junior high. Soon after this, I had an early miscarriage.
In 2006 and 2009, we had daughters. On March 6, 2012 I was
26 weeks pregnant with Brayden and went into labor. Just before delivery, I had
an ultrasound and the technician found that he also had CDH. Everything felt
like a blur after that. I called my husband from the delivery room to tell him that
Brayden had CDH. After having him, I knew he wasn’t going to survive long, so I
didn’t want to see him. I finally saw him a couple hours after delivery due to
my mom and husband begging me to do so. He only lived 36 hours. I felt
emotionally numb after losing Brayden. Our other kids didn’t ask a lot of
questions and seemed to understand. The local children’s hospital gave them
lots of gifts to support our family.
After losing Brayden, I got pregnant again very quickly, but
went into labor again at 26 weeks pregnant in October, just seven months after
losing Brayden. We hadn’t planned to get pregnant again so quickly, and I felt
both happy and scared about it. Since I went into full labor, I had an
emergency C-section. I felt like this was a replay of what happened with
Brayden, and it was a blur again. I had hemorrhages, and baby Camden was
immediately taken to the NICU and never left. His health was up and down for
nearly a month until the last few days when he declined quickly due to bleeding
on the brain. I stayed in the hospital the whole time while my mom took care of
our other kids. I clearly remember sitting next to Camden in the NICU being
told there was nothing else that could be done, and then the doctors and nurses
all tried to encourage me. I couldn’t believe I was losing another son.
Two years later I was pregnant with our youngest son, Talon,
and went into labor at 34 weeks. Before his birth we knew he had dilated
kidneys. I saw a neurologist while I was pregnant and after his delivery. He
spent one week in the NICU. At just under one year old, Talon had his first
kidney surgery and had another surgery at just over two years old. I’m
constantly seeing doctors or specialists with Talon because he also has sleep
apnea, autism, and trouble gaining weight.
In 2016, I had our youngest daughter, but her daddy never
met her or knew I was having a girl. At just 29 years old, my husband Tiger
passed away two days before Father’s Day in 2016. I found him at four in the
morning not breathing. The kids were still asleep when the ambulance came and
didn’t see anything.
At 36 weeks pregnant with our youngest daughter, I had a
planned C-section. She had breathing problems, and then a collapsed lung,
leading to a week-long stay in the hospital. The anesthesia for the surgery didn’t
work right. The doctors believe some of it got to her, which caused the
problem. Thankfully, she’s had no problems since then.
We moved to my mom’s house after Tiger died. I spend my days
caring for my children and helping care for a friend’s child for a few hours
each day. Our days look normal, but we talk about Brayden, Camden, and Tiger
often. They were all cremated and their urns stand next to each other in a
visible place. Even Talon knows which one belongs to each person. The kids
share their memories of their dad and Camden. We have pictures all over of all
of them, too.
Angelversaries are emotional. We celebrate the birthdays of
all my children with cake and ice cream, and we also have a balloon release for
Brayden and Camden. I rarely get a moment to myself, but when I do, I replay
the losses of my boys and husband. I wouldn’t wish any of my struggles on
anyone.
Monday, March 27, 2017
Future Plans
This organization has already been blessed and continues to grow with all of your support! Here are some things we hope to accomplish within the next year:
We would like to partner with local businesses. This will help spread our mission, gain more support and donations. If you or someone you know owns a local business, please contact us to see how you can help!
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We would like to have a consistent number of care packages going out every month. By this, we mean that we want to be able to help more people going through this loss. We know there is still a stigmatism in society saying that you shouldn’t talk about miscarriage or child loss and we hope that by sharing our stories that we can reach out to more families so they don’t feel the need to suffer in silence.
We would like to see consistent monthly donors. Although we welcome and appreciate every donation we get, we know that unless we get consistent donations, we cannot consistently deliver care packages to families. We're working on a new "Sponsor a Family" campaign, so be watching for it!
We would like to follow up with families that receive our packages as well as send out cards on Mother's Day, Father's Day, around Christmas, and on angelverssaries for the first year. We'll have small gatherings to help us accomplish this task.
We want to open up a private group on Facebook to connect grieving families with other families that have lost a child. This gives them a place where others understand what they are going through, a safe place to talk about their angels, and share their resources. We just need to figure out the do's and don'ts of our group.
We hope to continue growing our site and adding more resources as well as stories from those who have lost a child. If you're among those who have lost a child, we can help you write your story if it's not written. We can interview you, and then write it for you.
We plan to reach out to local hospitals like Kaweah Delta and provide them with information on what we do. We hope that in return they will share our information with grieving parents so that we can provide them with a care package and information about other resources to help them with the grief.
We would like to reach out and establish a connection to other local churches, MOPs groups and mom groups. On April 20, we'll be sharing with the Hanford MOPs group! We'll be putting together simple little packets soon to deliver to churches, other nonprofits, and businesses.
We would like to make a connection with other nonprofits that have a similar cause. We would like to work with them and guide those who receive our care packages to them because a community is stronger when they work together.
We would like to partner with local businesses. This will help spread our mission, gain more support and donations. If you or someone you know owns a local business, please contact us to see how you can help!
Saturday, February 25, 2017
Always in Our Hearts 2017
Saturday, October 8, 2016
Tiffani's Story
My husband and I have been married for 13 years. We married young and had our first child, Noah, at 20 years old. We were so overjoyed and excited to have him! I grew up in a small family, and my husband grew up in a larger family. After our first child, I was torn about having any more children. I had a tough upbringing and parenting scared me. To top it off, I spent the first 2 years of my little Noah's life alone. My husband, Bryan, is in the military and was deployed for 6 months along with many other underway periods in a very short amount of time. After much prayer and discussions, we decided to try again for another child. It took a few months to conceive and unfortunately, my husband deployed again before he could be told of our positive test results. As joyful of an occasion as this was, I was terrified because I would be spending most of the pregnancy alone, and if this pregnancy was anything like the last, I was in for a battle with my body. I have fibromyalgia and pregnancy makes it much worse. My first pregnancy had no other complications outside of the muscle pain, so I did not expect to do anything different from the last.
With my husband gone, my mom and I decided to do some baby shopping and enjoy the excitement of a new child even if I couldn't share it with my husband. We had a favorite second-hand baby store we loved to visit and a few weeks after my positive test results, found ourselves in the store. They had a gorgeous ebony crib and dresser set that was virtually brand new. What a score! My mom was so excited for her second grandchild that she decided to buy the set and we headed to the register. While we were in the store, I had been experiencing some mild cramping and discomfort but I wasn't too afraid. I headed for a quick restroom break while my mom finished up the purchase and I was astonished to find that I was spotting, and more than a little at that. I panicked and went immediately to my mom. The store agreed to hold the furniture while she swept me off to the ER. It was here that I found out that my baby no longer had a heart beat. Being in ER, they couldn't really say I was miscarrying. They encouraged me to go home, rest for the remainder of the weekend and seek a follow up appointment with my doctor on Monday. I set the earliest appointment I could get for Monday and headed off to the doctor. No husband. No mom. Just me and a friend.
The doctor confirmed my fear. My baby, now at 13 weeks had no heart beat. In fact, the baby had stopped growing at 6-7 weeks. I was devastated. The doctor was very nice, but very factual as well. She had delivered my first child, so we had some history, but she didn't beat around the bush. She told me that miscarriage is one of the most common and most un-talked about medical events. There are more miscarriages than live births among women of the world, including the United States. So many women miscarry that they often don't even know they were pregnant. They experience a heavier period after a missed or late month, but had never taken a test to know that this was a miscarriage. Although her facts were new to me, I did not take them with grace that day. I was mad, I was hurt, I was devastated. How could she compare my lost child to another lady's missed period? It wasn't until a few days later that I decided to test that theory.
At the time, I had 2 pregnant sister-in-laws and a few pregnant friends. It was so hard to be around them. So I began talking to them and to everyone that would hear me. I spoke about my pain, my loss, and my inability to cope with it. With this open and complete abandon approach to dealing with my emotions, I found that the doctor was right. So many of my friends and acquaintance had lost children. Some had lost even more than one. Some had lost 9, 10, 11 or more...but kept on trying. I was not alone.
I cried out to God. I got angry at God. I had lost a child after finally deciding that 2 children was what I wanted. My husband was gone and unable to support me or share with me in this pain. I was broken. I remember the pain of having to tell my husband about losing our child. I remember the utter silence on the other end of the phone from the far reaches of the world. He was floating in the Persian Gulf. He was alone. He was broken. We were blessed that as I actively contracted in labor and lost our child, sitting at home, alone...my husband was on the other line for a small part of it. He wanted to be with me and help me; He wanted to make it all go away. We only had about 20 minutes together on the phone that day...to share in the loss of our child. Then I labored alone. In the dark. Crying out to God.
My husband later told me that he crumbled. He didn't know what to do. He reached out to his chaplain on board the ship but found no comfort or solace as he was encouraged to go back to work because these things happen and he can't change it. His shop heard of his loss and unbeknownst to him, sent me a beautiful flower arrangement. I was touched. I cried for hours. They had seen the special need I had for someone to acknowledge the pain and loss I was suffering. I remember sitting there, with the flowers sitting before me, my husband thousands of miles away, and my heart crying out to God and finding a moment of healing. A small glimpse of all the moments it would take to heal (never completely) from the loss of my baby. I pulled out my notebook and I wrote. I wrote a love song, a poem, a cry to my unborn child. I poured out my heart. When I was done, I closed the notebook, put it away and started to pick up the pieces. It didn't happen right away, but over time, I was able to find healing and to move forward with the life that God had called me to. I started to see God's bigger picture. My husband's deployment was stretched from 6 months to 9 months. He would have missed the birth of our special little one. There were quite a few major events that happened in the next year that tore my soul into pieces and nearly broke not only me, but our marriage. God's timing is perfect. Even when I cry out against him. After the loss of our angel baby, I thought I would never try again to have a child. I have 3 children now. Two rainbow babies.
I have told my children of their special sibling in heaven. My oldest doesn't talk about it much. But my middle one, the one born after our angel baby, talks of his sibling in heaven all the time. He is 8 now, but has been talking about his baby sibling since he was about 4 or so. He says he knows she must have been a beautiful girl. He talks about how God made our family perfect with 2 boys and 2 girls, one in heaven. I did not ever find out the gender of our baby. But he has dreamed of her. He is sure that he has a sister in heaven and will know who she is when he gets to heaven. I am touched that God allowed my sweet little boy to have such a heart for the sibling he will never know until he gets to heaven.
I think it is really important for mothers who have lost to talk about their lost children. To keep their memory alive. To find solace in the arms of other mothers who have also lost. You are not alone. We share in your pain. We too seek to hold you and support you in this time of loss. May God bless you and hold you as you are in this tunnel. There is light on the other side. Healing does come.
Read More »
With my husband gone, my mom and I decided to do some baby shopping and enjoy the excitement of a new child even if I couldn't share it with my husband. We had a favorite second-hand baby store we loved to visit and a few weeks after my positive test results, found ourselves in the store. They had a gorgeous ebony crib and dresser set that was virtually brand new. What a score! My mom was so excited for her second grandchild that she decided to buy the set and we headed to the register. While we were in the store, I had been experiencing some mild cramping and discomfort but I wasn't too afraid. I headed for a quick restroom break while my mom finished up the purchase and I was astonished to find that I was spotting, and more than a little at that. I panicked and went immediately to my mom. The store agreed to hold the furniture while she swept me off to the ER. It was here that I found out that my baby no longer had a heart beat. Being in ER, they couldn't really say I was miscarrying. They encouraged me to go home, rest for the remainder of the weekend and seek a follow up appointment with my doctor on Monday. I set the earliest appointment I could get for Monday and headed off to the doctor. No husband. No mom. Just me and a friend.
The doctor confirmed my fear. My baby, now at 13 weeks had no heart beat. In fact, the baby had stopped growing at 6-7 weeks. I was devastated. The doctor was very nice, but very factual as well. She had delivered my first child, so we had some history, but she didn't beat around the bush. She told me that miscarriage is one of the most common and most un-talked about medical events. There are more miscarriages than live births among women of the world, including the United States. So many women miscarry that they often don't even know they were pregnant. They experience a heavier period after a missed or late month, but had never taken a test to know that this was a miscarriage. Although her facts were new to me, I did not take them with grace that day. I was mad, I was hurt, I was devastated. How could she compare my lost child to another lady's missed period? It wasn't until a few days later that I decided to test that theory.
At the time, I had 2 pregnant sister-in-laws and a few pregnant friends. It was so hard to be around them. So I began talking to them and to everyone that would hear me. I spoke about my pain, my loss, and my inability to cope with it. With this open and complete abandon approach to dealing with my emotions, I found that the doctor was right. So many of my friends and acquaintance had lost children. Some had lost even more than one. Some had lost 9, 10, 11 or more...but kept on trying. I was not alone.
I cried out to God. I got angry at God. I had lost a child after finally deciding that 2 children was what I wanted. My husband was gone and unable to support me or share with me in this pain. I was broken. I remember the pain of having to tell my husband about losing our child. I remember the utter silence on the other end of the phone from the far reaches of the world. He was floating in the Persian Gulf. He was alone. He was broken. We were blessed that as I actively contracted in labor and lost our child, sitting at home, alone...my husband was on the other line for a small part of it. He wanted to be with me and help me; He wanted to make it all go away. We only had about 20 minutes together on the phone that day...to share in the loss of our child. Then I labored alone. In the dark. Crying out to God.
My husband later told me that he crumbled. He didn't know what to do. He reached out to his chaplain on board the ship but found no comfort or solace as he was encouraged to go back to work because these things happen and he can't change it. His shop heard of his loss and unbeknownst to him, sent me a beautiful flower arrangement. I was touched. I cried for hours. They had seen the special need I had for someone to acknowledge the pain and loss I was suffering. I remember sitting there, with the flowers sitting before me, my husband thousands of miles away, and my heart crying out to God and finding a moment of healing. A small glimpse of all the moments it would take to heal (never completely) from the loss of my baby. I pulled out my notebook and I wrote. I wrote a love song, a poem, a cry to my unborn child. I poured out my heart. When I was done, I closed the notebook, put it away and started to pick up the pieces. It didn't happen right away, but over time, I was able to find healing and to move forward with the life that God had called me to. I started to see God's bigger picture. My husband's deployment was stretched from 6 months to 9 months. He would have missed the birth of our special little one. There were quite a few major events that happened in the next year that tore my soul into pieces and nearly broke not only me, but our marriage. God's timing is perfect. Even when I cry out against him. After the loss of our angel baby, I thought I would never try again to have a child. I have 3 children now. Two rainbow babies.
I have told my children of their special sibling in heaven. My oldest doesn't talk about it much. But my middle one, the one born after our angel baby, talks of his sibling in heaven all the time. He is 8 now, but has been talking about his baby sibling since he was about 4 or so. He says he knows she must have been a beautiful girl. He talks about how God made our family perfect with 2 boys and 2 girls, one in heaven. I did not ever find out the gender of our baby. But he has dreamed of her. He is sure that he has a sister in heaven and will know who she is when he gets to heaven. I am touched that God allowed my sweet little boy to have such a heart for the sibling he will never know until he gets to heaven.
I think it is really important for mothers who have lost to talk about their lost children. To keep their memory alive. To find solace in the arms of other mothers who have also lost. You are not alone. We share in your pain. We too seek to hold you and support you in this time of loss. May God bless you and hold you as you are in this tunnel. There is light on the other side. Healing does come.
Monday, October 3, 2016
How can you help Sent from Heaven?
There is likely at least one family in the Valley who loses
a child each day. These families need to be reached. Often this subject is not
talked about or only talked about a little because people don’t know what to do
or say. But these families are hurting, big time. It’s the most painful loss
next to losing a spouse or other living children. And yet, people rarely get
time off work to grieve about it.
There are so many ways you can help us right now and over time. Right now, we’re holding our first annual donation drive October 1-15, in honor of Pregnancy, Infant, and Child Loss Awareness Month. Here are some things we need donated
We need you to spread the word! Tell your pastors, friends, MOPs groups, etc. about us. Share and like our page on Facebook.
We need more prayer partners. We will soon start sending out a regular monthly update to our prayer partners with our praises and prayer requests. If you’d like to be part of our prayer team, please let us know!
We need helpers or more members for our board of directors. Currently, just three of us are behind this whole thing, but we’re going to need more brains for ideas and hands to serve. If you want to be part of this ongoing or a case-by-case basis, let us know.
We need you to write your story. If you have lost a child in some way, we want to share your story with our community. It’s healing and helpful to know you’re not alone when you can find stories from others about their loss. It also helps you know what to expect in the coming months. If you’re not a writer, Amanda can interview you and write it for you. Otherwise, she’ll just edit your story once you write it. During October, we would like to publish several stories each week in honor of this being Child Loss Awareness Month.
We need help making lists of churches and services, especially in cities outside Visalia. If you can point us to a website with this information or recommend places to us, please send them.
We need a social media expert. We won’t be able to continue running all our accounts by ourselves, and we’re not geniuses at this social media stuff. We want to grow our Facebook and Instagram accounts to reach more people, of course. If you would like to volunteer to help us with this now, we would be honored and thankful. If you can discount your services, let us know. If you know someone, get us in touch.
We need a graphic designer. Again, we’re not experts at designing flyers or websites, but we need to look professional and polished. If you can donate your services or discount them, we would greatly appreciate it!
We need a lawyer or an intern at a law firm to help us with all the legal paperwork. We heard from another non-profit in town that they were able to get their paperwork and help for the first year done pro-bono. We definitely need that kind of help. If you or someone you know can help with this, please put us in touch.
Read More »
There are so many ways you can help us right now and over time. Right now, we’re holding our first annual donation drive October 1-15, in honor of Pregnancy, Infant, and Child Loss Awareness Month. Here are some things we need donated
- Journals for men and women. We want to make sure that journals are included for both the mom and dad. We may even include one for an older child, if that suits the family. You can pick up journals inexpensively at places like Hobby Lobby and other craft stores. Joann’s in Visalia is going out of business right now, so you can likely get journals really cheap there. I often see journals in the Dollar Spot at Target, too.
- Meal gift cards. We would like to try to include gift cards to non-chain restaurants to help support our local community. As we’re our locally-based organization, we want to support our local businesses. A gift card in the amount of at least $30 is needed for each care package. Costco actually does sell some gift cards to local places at a discount.
- Tissue. Small pocket packages or boxes are fine. Get it in bulk for cheap at Costco or someplace similar. I saw 3-packs of pocket tissues in the Dollar Spot at Target recently.
- Amazon gift cards. These would be used to purchase books about grieving the loss of child.
- Donations for children’s books. Click the box on the left-side of this page that’s about donating for children’s books. For families with other children who will be grieving, we want to include a book for those children. Your donation here will also help us raise funds to purchase supplies for our care packages.
- Healthy snacks. I would love to see us supporting local places with this purchase also, like snacks from Central Valley Snacks downtown on Main Street or The Naked Nut. I know there are other places that I can’t even think of either. Make sure it’s a non-perishable snack. Or if you sell or purchase Thrive food, I would love to include a bag of Snackies. Some good snack options would be dried fruit, fruit leather, granola bars, veggie chips, etc.
- Memorial jewelry. I’m looking to my Premier Designs jewelers for help with this one. Many of you received an email from me recently asking for donations of Heaven and Identity necklaces. I can’t get enough of these on my own and need your help!
- Bibles. It doesn’t need to be fancy. A simple paperback Bible in an easy-to-read translation will be perfect. An NIV or NLT translation would be great. I saw a small paperback Bible at Hobby Lobby recently for about $2.
- iTunes and Google Play gift cards. We will use these to purchase and send downloads of a song to each family. You can purchase this in bulk for a discount at Costco, or at most other large chain stores.
- Coffee or tea. Hot drinks are comforting and reviving. I would love to see coffee from local roasters like Tazzaria or Maverick’s. Tea could just be purchased at grocery stores. Costco usually sells some in bulk. I would recommend an herbal tea, and perhaps something that’s soothing like chamomile. I would like to include at least a half pound of coffee and/or a box of tea in each package.
- Baskets or open-top containers. We don’t need anything large because the largest item being put in our package is a book. You can find colorful plastic baskets at the Dollar Tree that would work great. Again, since Joann’s is going out of business you can also check there for clearance items.
We need you to spread the word! Tell your pastors, friends, MOPs groups, etc. about us. Share and like our page on Facebook.
We need more prayer partners. We will soon start sending out a regular monthly update to our prayer partners with our praises and prayer requests. If you’d like to be part of our prayer team, please let us know!
We need helpers or more members for our board of directors. Currently, just three of us are behind this whole thing, but we’re going to need more brains for ideas and hands to serve. If you want to be part of this ongoing or a case-by-case basis, let us know.
We need you to write your story. If you have lost a child in some way, we want to share your story with our community. It’s healing and helpful to know you’re not alone when you can find stories from others about their loss. It also helps you know what to expect in the coming months. If you’re not a writer, Amanda can interview you and write it for you. Otherwise, she’ll just edit your story once you write it. During October, we would like to publish several stories each week in honor of this being Child Loss Awareness Month.
We need help making lists of churches and services, especially in cities outside Visalia. If you can point us to a website with this information or recommend places to us, please send them.
We need a social media expert. We won’t be able to continue running all our accounts by ourselves, and we’re not geniuses at this social media stuff. We want to grow our Facebook and Instagram accounts to reach more people, of course. If you would like to volunteer to help us with this now, we would be honored and thankful. If you can discount your services, let us know. If you know someone, get us in touch.
We need a graphic designer. Again, we’re not experts at designing flyers or websites, but we need to look professional and polished. If you can donate your services or discount them, we would greatly appreciate it!
We need a lawyer or an intern at a law firm to help us with all the legal paperwork. We heard from another non-profit in town that they were able to get their paperwork and help for the first year done pro-bono. We definitely need that kind of help. If you or someone you know can help with this, please put us in touch.
Sunday, October 2, 2016
What's in a care package from Sent from Heaven?
We will craft each care package to each family. However,
each package will contain some standard items. Each item we have chosen
reflects what we cherished and needed most during our times of loss. Some items
may be used more immediately, while others may be used over the year after.
Additionally, these items may change over time, but as we start up, this is
what we’re planning to include.
- Tissue.Aubin recalls not having any tissue around when she lost Liam and likely went through a lot of toilet paper, paper towels, and napkins instead.
- Journals. Moms and dads can use a private place to record their thoughts during this difficult time.
- Meal gift cards, preferably from local restaurants. Typically, families will receive meals from friends and family for a period of time, but once the leftovers run out, it will still be difficult to get dinner on the table. Since this a locally-based organization, we would love to include gift cards to local places (non-chain). Costco sells gift cards to several fabulous local restaurants, including the Jessen Restaurant Group (Tazzaria, Pizanos, Glick’s, etc.) and Pita Kabob.
- A book. This will vary depending on the type of loss the family experienced, but we would like to include at least one book from our list of recommendations.
- Healthy snacks. Again, we would love to see snacks from local places like The Naked Nut and Central Valley Snacks, or even Snackies from my Thrive friends. During a time of loss, you don’t want to go grocery shopping and you’re probably not that hungry, so healthy snacks fit the bill.
- Memorial jewelry. I (Amanda) work for Premier Designs Jewelry and cherished our Heaven necklace immediately after my losses. I even gifted one to Aubin, which I know she also cherishes. It’s a beautiful reminder of where our babies are now and that we’re living for heaven, not this life. We may also include the Identity dog tag necklace for men in our care package.
- An outfit from LuLaRue. It’s always nice to get something new. It’s especially nice to get something new during a difficult time. And the best thing about LuLaRue is you don’t have to go to a store!
- Music. It’s very healing for most people, and we’d like to include a download of “Thy Will” by Hillary Scott or “Trust in You” by Lauren Daigle that would be sent by email to the family.
- A list of local churches and other services. We know of a lot of the churches in Visalia, but have little to no knowledge of churches in surrounding cities. We are also aware of a support group for child loss in Visalia and counseling services. We just need information about these things in other cities.
- Bibles. If we know that a family doesn’t have a Bible or may not believe in Jesus, we want to include a Bible. Often God and religion is scrutinized during times of despair, so we want to make sure families have the Truth to read.
- Children’s book. If the family have other children who are grieving the loss of a sibling, we will include a book from Usborne based on the child’s age and need. Right now we’re holding a book drive for these books, so you can donate $25 to buy one Cuddle Bear book set or two Here in the Garden books.
- A pedicure and/or manicure. A few weeks or months after the dust settles, it’s a good idea to get out and do something fun. Being pampered is a great option during this time, too. We need to get in contact with some local salons to see if they can donate this.
- Coffee.It’s comforting and you often don’t sleep well during a time of loss, so it’s a great gift. Again, coffee from local roasters, like Maverick’s and Tazzaria would be our preference. Not everyone likes coffee though, so we wouldn't include this with every package. We may include tea instead.
Saturday, October 1, 2016
Why are we starting Sent from Heaven?
First, we (Amanda and Aubin) have both been through the pain of losing a child. It’s the most painful
event we have ever faced. Losing our husbands and our other living children are
the only things that could be as or more painful. It’s been nearly a year since
we both lost children, so we have some perspective on this situation now that
we didn’t before, even several months ago.
Second, we have recognized that people don’t want to or don’t know how to talk about losing a
child. Even other women who have lost children don’t seem to want to talk about
it. However, we believe sharing in our pain brings healing. It has for us!
Aubin has asked many other women who have lost children what would help them,
and all of them have said they want to read more stories about women who share
in their loss. Thus, we want to provide that. We would like to publish more stories
on our blog from women who have lost a child, no matter how that loss happened.
Maybe this sounds morbid to you, but it makes us feel like we’re not alone.
Often our society doesn’t want to hear about this topic, but people need to
know that other people understand their pain. And the majority of people who
don’t have to face this loss need to gain a better understanding of what it feels
like to lose a child so they can better reach out to their friends when they do
lose a child.
Third, people don’t
know what to do or say when you lose a child. Sent from Heaven is here to
help bridge this gap. If you have a friend who loses a child in our area
(Central Valley, CA), we want you to give our care package as a gift from you.
If you don’t leave near us, you can put together your own care package based on
what we’re putting in ours, or do something else.
If you have lost a
child, would you please consider sharing your story with our growing community.
Email us at sentfromheavenvisalia@gmail.com
to let us know you want to contribute. You don’t even have to write it
yourself! Amanda is a writer and editor, so she can conduct an interview and
write your story for you.
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