Request a Care Package

 Have you or someone you love recently lost a child who's age 18 or under? Pregnancy loss and an adoption falling through are included in those families we serve. 

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a brief review of 2020-21

First, I must start with a big THANK YOU to all our supporters, any way you support us is meaningful and helpful. Thank you for praying, giving, and sharing! Keep it up! Here are a few things of note from the past two years:

• August 2021 marked FIVE years since Sent from Heaven started! Woo hoo!
• In 2020, 22 care packages were delivered by mail or picked up by the requestor. This number was down from 51 in 2019, our highest number of packages in a year to date. This was expected considering the vast effects of the pandemic.
• So far in 2021, 20 care packages have been delivered. 
• Three modified care packages were sent overseas to Asia, and I know at least one has arrived!
• Financial support has remained steady, allowing us to continue sending care packages by mail when needed. However, the price to send a flat rate medium box has gone up again to $16.25!

 What can you do for us?

• Pray for our reach and the grieving families. Pray these families would be able to see hope in the midst of their great pain.
• Give financially. You can do this online or by sending a check with "Sent from Heaven" in the memo to Sierra Baptist Church in Visalia. 
• https://paypal.me/sentfromheavenca?country.x=US&locale.x=en_USWe could use a little help with our online presence, if anyone has ideas or wants to pitch in with that.
• Spread the word about Sent from Heaven however you can--online or in person! If you'd like some of our business cards and/or postcards for passing out, we would love to get some to you.
• If you're on Facebook, please navigate to our page and leave a review.
  

We hope you have a peaceful and blessed holiday season!

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It's been busy lately!

The end of summer and beginning of fall has been a busy and blessed season for Sent from Heaven. In August we celebrated our THIRD birthday. I set up a table at a Women's Health Day in Visalia where 100s of women saw our table and talked to us. They even awarded us with the best decorated table, which was very sweet.

On the last Sunday of August we invited everyone in town to join us for coffee at Component Coffee Lab, and they had a better than average Sunday! They graciously donated 15% of the profits to us, totaling just over $500. I also hung out there for much of the day, allowing me to connect with tons of people, including a local midwife at the Visalia OBGYN office. We are beyond grateful for all that Component owners Jon, Greg, Mikayla, and Miguel have done for us! Go support them!

In September, the shirt Faith over Fear shirt orders came to us with a $55 donation! After totaling up all donations from August and September, we received around $1000! What a blessing for us! We were able to use that to restock the beautiful books and memorial jewelry we include in our care packages, as well as all the other smaller items. If you would ever like to donate specific items to us, you can shop our Amazon Wish List! All items from the list are sent directly to us so you don't have to go to the store or even get the items to us.

October was Child Loss Awareness Month in which we shared about on social media. We also attended the Legacy of Love Dinner and Memorial Candle Lighting. This event is nicely done, free, and family-friendly. It happens near Oct. 15th each year, so plan to come next year if you can! Legacy of Love is a local support group for moms and dads who lose a child during pregnancy or the first year of life. Also, on October 15th, we delivered our 100th care package! While we mourn the loss of so many children, we are grateful to be able to offer hope to all these families during a most difficult time.

WHAT'S NEXT FOR US?

• January: We will launch a child loss support group in Hanford, CA that will meet monthly. If you know a place we can meet for free, please let us know!
• Spring: annual Always in Our Hearts silent auction. I think this is going to be a little different than the past two years. More details to come. We would love to include weekend getaways and tickets to amusement parks in the auction this year. If you know how we can get these, please contact us.
• Becoming a stand-alone non-profit: Currently we are a ministry of Sierra Baptist Church and this has been a great relationship but we don't want to take advantage of this either. To become a non-profit it costly and we need to establish a board of directors. This means we need a few people (4-5) who can commit to monthly meetings, volunteering as needed, and inputting ideas. CAN YOU DO THIS?? We would love to consider adding you to our circle of influence. 
• For now, we won't be sending out special emails but posting all information on the website, Facebook, and Instagram. We don't have the time or right person currently to help with emails and social media. However, we will try to add everyone who receives emails to our website subscriber list so you can still keep up with us.

Thank you, as always, for your prayers and support! Keep spreading the word!

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All the ways you can celebrate our THIRD birthday!

We have a lot of options for you to help! Additionally, you can always shop our Amazon Wish List or make a donation of any amount.

Right Now...You can shop online and a portion of the proceeds will be given to us!

Shop all sorts of skin care, body care, and make up (including LipSense) at Jessica's Senegence shop.

Order a FAITH over FEAR t-shirt in rosy pink or grey for $25, and $5 will be donated for each shirt ordered. Fill out the order form on our website. You can also see the designs on the order form.

Saturday, August 17

 More info on the Women's Health and Wellness Day

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Faith Over Fear Shirt Ordering

Sweet and Sassy Vinyl Creations in Tennessee is graciously supporting us by donating $5 to us for EVERY one of these shirts that's ordered during August!! Why August?? August is our birthday month, and we're turning THREE!!! Fill out the form below and Sweet and Sassy will you send you a PayPal bill shortly. These are made to order and will likely be shipped in September.

Wear these shirts to:

• Honor your child in heaven
• Show solidarity with men and women who have lost a child
• Support Sent from Heaven and families who have lost a child
• Bring awareness to child loss (especially during the upcoming Child Loss Awareness Month in October) 
• Remind yourself and show the world that FAITH can overcome FEAR

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Spread the word about us!

We're looking for Sent from Heaven ambassadors! What's that? It's a simple commitment to spread the word about us and what we do. The people we reach are wholly dependent upon word-of-mouth referral. We don't advertise anywhere and we're still working on getting our information in local hospitals. So YOU are our best way to spread the word about us right now. 

This could take many different forms, including but not limited to:

• Share our social media posts (super simple!)
• Create an original post about us on your social media or blog
• Give our cards to people you know
• Bring it up in conversation with anyone you do business with like your hair stylist or barista. This could be as simple as, "Have you heard of the organization Sent from Heaven?" and then share what we do in a sentence or hand them our card.
• Tell your pastors about us and our desire to partner with churches
• Tell your OB, pediatrician, and general care doctor about us

You don't have to share in all of these ways; you can just choose what suits you. The point is just getting the word out. If you'd like to be an ambassador, fill out the short form below and we'll get a stack of our business cards to you with some basic information about the organization for anyone who has questions. You'll also get insider information about us and tips for sharing about what we do.

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dreams for the future

When I founded Sent from Heaven about 2.5 years ago, I really wasn't sure what would happen. Up to this point, we have created nearly 70 care packages! They were all FREE, too! I have been trying to expand our reach by getting in touch with churches and hospitals. Sometimes this has been profitable, but often it has not. But I think there are other ways to expand our reach, so here are some dreams for the future:

• Hire a social media guru (an intern or volunteer would be great!)
• Create a board of directors that meets regularly and volunteers to help with what we're doing
• Hold memorial services for families who have received baskets at least twice a year
• Hold an annual couple's retreat for those who have lost a child
• Learn more about the grieving process
• Advocate for bereavement days at work after miscarriage
• Open other Sent from Heaven chapters around the nation

Are you interested in any of this? Send me an email at sentfromheavenvisalia@gmail.com

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Always in Our Hearts Silent Auction 2019

YOU'RE INVITED!

Join us for our annual Always in Our Hearts silent auction

Friday, February 8, 2019 at 7pm

Merryman Station in Exeter

LIVE MUSIC - DELICIOUS FOOD - FRIENDS - FUN

Your Name

This event was fantastic at Merryman Station last year, so we're holding it again there this year. The same fabulous band, led by my father-in-law Bruce Lamb will be playing again! We're also going to have plenty of finger foods and desserts available. Please come support us at our biggest event of the year, and bring your friends! Get your tickets below before they sell out! (Enter your name in the box above the "Buy Now" button and then click the button). You can also pay Amanda in-person for tickets before the event to ensure a spot for yourself.

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What items can I give that will go in care packages?

As you can see, no two care packages are exactly alike. Each one is assembled based on the grieving family's need. There are some staples for every basket though, so if you'd like to get items to go directly in a basket, here's what we need:

• Individually-wrapped and non-perishable snacks for adults and children that are more healthy
• Boxes of tissue
• Packages of pocket tissue
• Meal gift cards of at least $25
• Herbal (non-caffeinated) tea

You may also purchase coloring book sets for $10 each from my friend Jaime who's an Usborne representative. More info to come on this!

Why these items?

When the idea of this organization was formed we sat and brainstormed about items we would have wanted or did receive that we really appreciated. Many of these items are chosen particularly to help with the immediate grief. Other items are chosen to hopefully help families heal, like books about grief and memorial jewelry.

All donations are tax-deductible.

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What can you donate for Child Loss Awareness Month 2018?

$25 purchases a journal, tissue, snacks, and more for a care package

$50 gifts jewelry for several grieving mamas

$100 sponsors our October Balloon Release for package recipients

$200 pays for marketing materials and supplies

$350 helps us reach our grieving community

$500 sponsors our silent auction event

$1,000 gives hope to many who need it

Approximately 1 in 4 pregnancies end in miscarriage. Many couples suffer this loss silently.

Depression, anxiety, and guilt often follow after the loss of a child. And who is there to help? We are.

Many marriages end in divorce after infant death. There's a lack of community and resources for them. We want to help change this.

In the next year, Sent from Heaven desires to build a community with those who receive our care packages to help fill many of the needs described. We have created an online community for these families and will be having regular events for them. They need to know they're not alone.

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What you can do for Child Loss Awareness Month 2018

Whether you've lost a child or not, you can still participate in Child Loss Awareness Month every October. Here are some ideas of things you can do:

• Give. Click the "Donate" button below to give a one-time or monthly donation. Each October we have had successful online fundraisers for Child Loss Awareness Month. If you'd like to give in honor of a child who isn't your own, please make a note of that and we'll contact you so we can send along a special note to the family of the child.

• Share our 2018 Child Loss Awareness campaign page with friends and family via social media or email. (Click the page name to go there).
• Reach out to someone you know lost a child. Send a simple note saying, "I'm remembering the child you lost this month with you. I miss him, too."
• Post on social media about Child Loss Awareness Month. Use the graphic we have here or any number of the ones we share on Facebook or Instagram.
• Add a temporary Child Loss Awareness frame to your Facebook photo. Search for one on Google; they're easy to find, or look for one to be posted.
• If you have lost a child, share your story, privately with a friend, or publicly. We're always looking for more stories to add to our website as resources for families who receive our packages. We don't want them to feel alone in their loss or the feelings they have.
• Light a candle from 7-8pm on October 15 to participate in the worldwide Wave of Light in remembrance of all the children gone too soon. And, be sure to let others know you're participating!
• Attend a child loss memorial service and/or invite a friend to one. 
• Wear a pink and blue ribbon. Add one to your car.

Thank you for your support and consideration!

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Being Faithful through the Storm

I just finished working through a study on Paul's faithfulness to God when all seemed lost! As I worked through Beth Moore's questions about the Scripture, I felt it almost jumping off the page to share with this community.

The study focused on Acts 27:1-28:10. Let me summarize it for you: Paul was a prisoner setting sail on his way to Rome. It was getting close to winter. After switching ships, Paul could see that if they continued sailing the direction the captain wanted to go then they would face a difficult storm.

Paul was certainly right! For 14 days, the 276 crew members and passengers fought the strong "northeaster" storm. The crew didn't eat for the entirety of those days. But part way through this storm, an angel spoke to Paul, telling him to not be afraid for he and everyone on the ship would be saved. After giving everyone this news, Paul tells them, "'So keep up your courage, men, for I have faith in God that it will happen just as he told me'" (Acts 27:25). Even though their chances looked bleak, Paul had faith in God. 

After fighting for 14 days, the crew sees an island and runs the ship aground. The ship literally begins to fall apart after the pressure of the storm pummeling it for so long. Those who can swim, get to shore that way, and those who can't swim grab a piece of the ship and float to the beach. They are treated with "unusual kindness" by the natives who built a large fire for them. Later, they are welcomed into the island's chief official's home for several days.

Here are some truths about this Scripture from Beth Moore:

1. Our feelings CANNOT be the basis of our faith. "One reason many people feel 'disappointed in God' is because they treated their feelings as fact" (166). God is unchanging and He loves us. That is what our faith must rest in.
2. Romans 10:17 says, "Faith comes from hearing the message, and the message is heard through the word of Christ." Even though it appeared that many of all of the people on the ship with Paul would die, Paul listened to God's promise given it that moment. Additionally, Moore writes, "Paul also did not assume that every promise God had ever made in history would be applied to him in his moment of need. The Word of God overflows with many wonderful 'blanket' promises, continually true to all of us (i.e., He will never leave us; He will return for us; He will work things for our good), but many of God's promises are for particular times, situations, and people" (166).
3. God's deliverance for Paul and everyone on board the ship came from running it aground. "Deliverance doesn't always mean ease. It may be simple and painless, or, God's deliverance in your life may be one of the most excruciating things you ever experience...Difficulty does not necessarily mean disaster" (167).
4. "God has a place of kindness, warmth, and welcome. A place, where, once you have been faithful to who He is, He will show you what He can do" (167).

Friends, I hope you benefited from this. I understand the hurt, pain, and sorrow you face, but God will deliver you! Isn't that wonderful?! 

All this reminds me of the lyrics from one of my favorite songs, "Hard Love" by needtobreathe:

Hold on tight a little longer

What don't kill you, makes you stronger

Get back up, 'cause it's a hard love

Study quotes from
Moore, Beth. Living Beyond Yourself: Exploring the Fruit of the Spirit. LifeWay Press: Nashville, TN. 2012.

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Two year celebration at Rubio's: Friday, 8/24/18

We're amazed at all that's been accomplished in just two years! Join us to celebrate with a fundraiser at Rubio's in Visalia near the Target on Mooney Blvd. at 5-8pm. Get the mobile flyer from our Facebook or Instagram story on the day of the event or use the one here on our website. This must be shown for us to get credit.

• 52 care packages created in two years
• 28 delivered in the last year
• 7 requests made in the past two weeks

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a fun week

Two fun things happened this week. First, we received our shipment of two dozen signed copies of Loved Baby by Sarah Philpott!! We sold 12 candles in April for 12 books, but she doubled the donation! She is such an incredible blessing to our ministry.

You can learn all about her at allamericanmom.net

Second, we had a Blaze Pizza Party fundraiser. I think we had around two dozen or more people eat pizza to support us! We'll be receiving 20% of the proceeds from all those orders. You can see several photos of people from the event on our Facebook page. If you ate at Blaze for us and took a photo, we'd love to see it! Post it to your page and tag us.

If you missed that fundraiser, we're having the next one on our second anniversary, August 26th, at Rubio's. More info to come about that soon!

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1 Candle: 1 Book Donated

We're so happy that Family Tree Candles and Sarah Philpott, author of Loved Baby: 31 Devotions Helping You Grieve and Cherish Your Child After Pregnancy Loss, are helping us out! During the entire month of April, one of Sarah's books will be donated for EACH candle purchased from Family Tree Candles! There are incredibly brave and special people behind both of these, so let me tell you a bit about them.

Sarah Philpott writes over at allamericanmom.net about her life as a Christian, farmer's wife, and mom in the South. A few years ago she experienced two back-to-back devastating miscarriages and was coming up short when she looked for a book on it, so she decided to write one. Her chapters are short, simple, and concise ranging in subjects from what one deals with physically to the myriad of emotions and remembering our sweet babies. With help from other women, Sarah's book also touches on different types of losses: miscarriage, still birth, and ectopic pregnancy. Nearly all the proceeds from the books sales are spent getting more books into the hands of grieving women who need it. Check out the book "trailer" below to find out more.



Meg Whitley is the creator and owner of Family Tree Candles. She's from Tennessee and pours a little southern charm into each candle she makes. Her candles not only smell great, but they are pretty, too. They are hand-poured high-quality soy wax candles in glass jars with gingham ribbons tied around each one, nestled inside a stamped canvas bag--ready for gifting! Fragrances are also added naturally with essential oils.

For our book drive, you can purchase a Loved Baby candle which comes in their ever-popular pineapple sage scent. For each candle purchased, Meg is donating the profit from the candle to purchase books that will go directly into our care packages. We have already put this book into several packages and have had excellent feedback on it, so we're eager to get more!

If you don't want to purchase online, you can purchase a candle directly from us and we'll order it for you. Thank you for your support! And give Sarah and Meg your support, too! Go follow them on social media!

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Coming Together for AIOH 2018

In the fall, I (Amanda) started thinking about our annual fundraiser event: Always in Our Hearts. I considered what would be the same and different from last year. I dreamed of having it in a beautiful venue, but I didn't think we would be able to make that happen for a few years on our limited budget. I talked to my husband about my dream for event and a few others, and contacted Merryman Station in late November.

I knew about Merryman Station because the owner, Mandy Thomas, was in my Bible study group for a short time the year she and her husband purchased the building. I watched them renovate it for a couple years through Facebook and was impressed with the final result. Mandy had also shared with me her story of child loss, and I felt a kindred spirit with her through that.

When I thought about where I wanted to have our fundraiser eventually, I immediately wanted to have our fundraiser in this space to support Mandy and as a reflection of our ministry. Merryman Station has been part of the Central Valley for over 100 years; it's surrounded by orange groves and sits on the 198 in Exeter, just between the cities and the foothills. Inside and out, it's a rustic farmhouse haven. The wood and lighting make it cozy, but also reflect its age. Somewhat similarly, our organization stands for hope in the midst of turmoil. Those who have lost a child have suffered long and hard, and our loss never goes away; we just learn to live with it. On "the other side" of child loss and with Jesus Christ in my life, I know there is hope.

When I contacted Merryman Station, initially I was told that they were booked solid in January and February, but they would double-check their calendar to see if we could be squeezed in. After checking in with Mandy a couple more times in December, I was finally told right before Christmas that there were two openings for us to choose from in January! Incredible! And it would cost $1000 after our discount...WAN WAN WAN. We typically don't even have that much in our account, so I had no idea how we would pay for this venue, so I thought about it for a couple days.

In the meantime, I started visiting and emailing local businesses and artisans to ask for donations for the silent auction. Some people never responded to my emails, others said "we get asked for a lot of donations so we have to be selective," but several others jumped at the opportunity to support us! Those who responded were extremely generous, kind, and excited about what we do. They knew there was a need for our organization and desired to support it. Over a dozen people gave us donations and we ended up with around 25 quality items to auction. CJ Hopper Photography gave us a $200 voucher!! I was shocked! Who gives away $200 of profit?? Wow.

After a couple days consideration about how to pay for Merryman Station and if it was worth it, I came up with an idea. I went over to my auto repair shop to ask for a $500 donation. Why there? I knew the owners are Christian as they're major supporters of our local Christian radio station. I felt like they're generous people, so what was the worst that could happen? They'd say "no" and I would table my dream venue for another year. I got a meeting with the owner, Santos, for Jan. 4 which was just 22 days before our event was to take place. He fully supported what we were doing and completely understood why I wanted to have the event in a special venue. He readily agreed to a $500 donation and wanted to find other ways to help us. Amazing!

Immediately, we let everyone know when and where our event would be. It was going to be the beautiful dream I had! I couldn't believe it!! My father-in-law's band agreed to play for our event at no cost so we could have live music. A couple weeks before the event I was reading in the Enjoy magazine about Component Coffee Lab, based out of Visalia with a mobile coffee cart. I sent an email asking "How does this mobile coffee cart work for an event I'm hosting?" He sent me a price, and I said that we couldn't afford that this year but perhaps in the future. He then asked if it was for a private or public event. I told him it was for a fundraiser for my nonprofit organization. A few minutes later, one of the owners, Jonathan, wrote me back saying they would show up for no charge to us ANNNDD give us a percentage of that night's proceeds. I nearly fell over when I read this, you guys! Seriously! Who does this?? These people don't even know me! He read a little about us on our website and "felt compelled" to help as a father and a Christian.

Donations for the silent auction continued pouring in, even on the day of the event! A majority of the tickets we sold were in the days just before the event when I wasn't sure we were even going to have enough people present to bid on all the fabulous items I had collected. On the day of the event, everything came together perfectly. It was all organized and just as I had imagined. Driving up that night to the building, all fantastically lit up, I felt like the belle of the ball. I teared up a little and smiled with a full heart of joy and gladness. It was a most beautiful and fun evening celebrating what we have accomplished and hope to achieve. It was a marker for our future that lies ahead. Nearly $1200 was raised by the silent auction items alone, and many individual gifts of $50-$100 were given during the month by those who were unable to attend. Component Coffee Lab donated 80% of their profits from the evening! (Go support these guys, people! They're at the Farmer's Market every Saturday and have a shop downtown now.)

This event wouldn't have happened without my husband. He watched our kids several times so I could go do stuff to prepare for the event. He helped me think through it all and fully-supported me when I felt overwhelmed by all of it. I'm also so grateful for my co-founder, Aubin, who put up with my to-do lists and went shopping for everything. I love you both!

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RSVP to Always in Our Hearts 1.27.18

Join us on Saturday, January 27th at 7pm!

We're so thrilled to have our 2nd annual Always in Our Hearts fundraiser at the recently renovated Merryman Station just off the 198 in Exeter!! Tickets are $10 each to the first 60 people. We'll have delicious desserts, specialty coffee drinks from Component Coffee Lab, live music, a photo booth, and silent auction items from local restaurants and artisans. 

If you'd like to purchase a ticket, you can use the button below or contact us by email (sentfromheavenvisalia@gmail.com) and we'll send you an invoice for the number of tickets you want. Don't wait to RSVP! Tickets will go fast! Whether you can or can't come, we'll also need dessert donations for our guests. Thanks for your support!

You DO NOT need a PayPal account to purchase a ticket; this is just the platform we're using to receive payments to help keep your information secure. On the first screen, select the amount of tickets you want and click Continue. On the second screen you can log in to your PayPal account or click Pay with a Credit or Debit Card if you don't have a PayPal account. 

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1 Year, 1-a-Week Journal Prompts for Bereaved Parents by Aubin

As a parent who has lost a child I know how hard it can be to work through that grief and pain. When my son Liam was born very sick in 2011, I needed an outlet and a way to remember the ups and downs of the NICU and the CDH journey. I found writing in a journal or even blogging helped me better than anything else. I could be completely honest in my journal without fear of judgment. Sometimes all I needed was to write down all my fears and worries to work past them. So why would my grief be any different? I decided to start actively working through my grief through journaling and wanted to share these prompts with you. If you use all of them, you'll have enough to write one journal entry for a whole year.

1) What would you like other people to know or do after someone loses a child?

2) Describe a time you told someone (who didn't already know) about your loss.

3) What has been confusing during your grief?

4) What has been surprising during your grief?

5) What have you been thankful for during your grief?

6) How did you choose your child's name?

7) What do you now find difficult to do that you didn't before you lost a child?

8) If I could tell my child something, I would say...

9) Some well-meaning but hurtful things people have said or done are...

10) What are some secondary losses from the loss of your child.

11) Try writing your child's story in 100 words or less.

12) What quote or scripture has been meaningful or comforting? Why?

13) Write a bucket list for yourself.

14) Plan something in honor of your child on a day that means something.

15) Write a letter to your child.

16) Write an acrostic poem using your child's name.

17) Make a list of goals for yourself that you hope to accomplish by a year from now or what you would like to be different in a year.

18) Create a word cloud, print it or paste it in your paper journal or on your blog. You can use Wordle or Tagxedo.

19) What have you learned about yourself through the loss of your child?

20) How do you feel different than you did before you lost your child?

21) Have your priorities changed since you lost your child?

22) Pick a common, well-meaning quote someone has said to you. Do you believe that it's true? Why or why not?

23) What do you do when you feel like you're the only one grieving?

24) Has your faith changed? How?

25) What are the ways of grieving you feel society expects of you because you are a man or woman? Do you break these "rules"?

26) Which ways of grieving seem to bring you and your partner closer? Further apart?

27) What is one of your favorite memories from your child's life, even if he/she only lived in the womb?

28) What would you like your friends and family to do to honor and remember your child?

29) Is there anything that happens or anything you do that makes you feel most connected to your child?

30) What song has been meaningful or comforting? Why?

31) Write a list of words that describe your child.

32) If you could keep only one memory of your child, what would it be?

33) When you're having a particularly hard day, week, etc, what do you wish others would understand?

34) What are the questions people asked that you appreciated?

35) How have your relationships changed since you lost your child?

36) Do you have any new fears or worries since you lost your child?

37) How has your response to grief been different from those closest to you?

38) What emotion has been the most overwhelming through your grief?

39) What unanswered questions do you have?

40) What things are you still able to find joy in?

41) "Grief ambushes" are times when you experience a flood of emotions at an unexpected time. Describe some of the grief ambushes you have experienced.

42) Do you think your grief will ever end? Why or why not?

43) Although the Bible shares specific details about heaven, our human understanding is limited. What do you wish you knew about heaven?

44) Identify your own ideas about how you as a man or woman are supposed to "handle" your grief. Are you following these ideas?

45) No one can imagine what it's like to lose a child until they have actually experienced it. Has anything about your grief journey been different than you imagined it would be?

46) Are you doing anything unhealthy in response to grief or are you tempted to?

47) If death is a natural process of life, why do you think so many people act uncomfortable talking about it and various aspects of grief?

48) Identify the physical, emotional, and spiritual needs you have right now.

49) Has anyone said anything that made you feel they were trying to rush you through your grief?

50) How can you use your grief journey to help others?

51) Is anger about the loss of your child a good or bad thing?

52) How has grief impacted you physically?

53) Name a flower than reminds you of your child.

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A peek into my journal

The following are unedited excerpts from my journal entries after my miscarriages. Some of these excerpts were prompted by a book I read called Hannah's Hope, which I highly recommend for Christians who are struggling with miscarriage, infertility, or failed adoptions. We also have some other journal prompt ideas for child loss parents.

written Dec. 2, 2015

"It's been two weeks and a day since our precious baby Taylor departed this world to be with you, God. We spent several hours at a friend's house today. I was SO tired at the end. It took so much energy out of me. She's such a fun mom, and I'm not so much.

I still fear losing more babies but feel a little better about it today. I don't know if I can be excited about being pregnant though, and I feel bad for Joseph [my husband] for that."

written Dec. 9. 2015

"It's been hard to be expected to live normally when I don't feel that way. I'm still deeply sad! Getting dressed, going to the bathroom, preparing food, and so many other things remind me [of the baby I lost]. I gained a few pounds while pregnant and now none of my pants fit well! ... All the impending waiting is making me crazy! Waiting for a period, then to take a test, then going to my OB, then the next appointment, and finding out the baby's gender"

written March 29, 2016 (after my second miscarriage)

"Oh, how I feel strange telling others that I have one son who is already 3.5 years-old! I know the questions in their head as in my own when faced with similar info: Did she adopt? Is she pregnant? Does she want more kids? -- I want to tell them I have two kids in heaven also, gone too soon from my life. Perhaps someday I will tell others this but I'm not ready now. I just want to ball my eyes out now and be able to believe that we can bring another baby into this world.

written March 30, 2016

"God, I want Philippians 4:6-7 to ring true for me, but it's difficult to do or feel any of those things! Don't be anxious?! Be thankful?! Know your peace?! How?! I want to get to these things, Lord. Show me Your way. I don't feel hope but only anxiety for the future."

written April 5, 2016

"I have wondered if God took our babies because we tried to have too much control of it. Since we didn't trust God fully with the situation, he chose to take our babies. However, this is punishment for my control and selfish desires, which God doesn't do...

God, please help me to know when I'm emotionally healed from our losses. At this time I commit to trying to have another baby, no matter when it may be born. Children are a blessing that I need to accept when You are ready to give them."

written April 9, 2016

"God, some days and times I feel depressed and other times I don't. I know you're working through these times. I'm feeling more at peace about the past but still restless for the future...Please lessen the despair and anguish. Amen."

written April 12, 2016

"Help me, Lord, to store up my treasure in heaven instead of earth...I can't let my treasure rest in my family or my things. Help me live for You!"

written May 4, 2016

"Mother's Day is fast approaching. I would have been very pregnant with Taylor or noticeably so with Aryn. I would have received a flower at church for being the soonest expectant mother. Now, I would rather not be there.

written July 24, 2016

"Today my friends announced that they're expecting a baby. I'm thrilled for them but a flood of negative emotions came over me. I'm healthy, so why can't I keep a baby? How am I to remain faithful to God in this? I feel like an inadequate failure. My story in this isn't over, I know, and that scares me. What if it doesn't get better? I want to hold my babies. What if I lose another baby? I know that I'm not healed from this, but I don't know if I can keep waiting. Everyone else is having their third child while I sit awkwardly with one. One big blessing contained in my sweet son. I don't understand this at all but I know, God, that you can use it. Taylor would have been about a month old now, but I'm just left with empty arms, and a hurt heart."

About a month after this last entry, I learned I was pregnant with our rainbow baby boy. I should have journaled through my pregnancy because I had a roller coaster of emotions throughout it! I hope you have found this enlightening or comforting. Select Amanda's Story from the menu to read my journey through child loss and life after loss.

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Child Loss Memorial 2017

October is child loss awareness month and this year we held our very first memorial service to remember our babies gone too soon.

We invited our guests to write the names of their angels on our chalk board, allowing us to see them and pray for each and every one of their parents.

Aubin opened up the service by thanking everyone who came and talking about how she faces each day after her loss.

Candace and Rob Feely blessed us with beautiful music to worship God too.

Kim, the nurse from Care Pregnancy Resource Center came and spoke to us about the importance of our ministry as well as what they do at CPRC.

Amanda spoke about Psalm 13, 40:1-2 and 23. John 3:16. It was a powerful message of hope.

Amanda also took the time to record her message and you can view it here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e9HCwkSQDWY&feature=youtu.be

We provided paper for our guests to write letters to their angels to attach to balloons we released.

It was a beautiful moment as we let them fly. Everyone took a moment to take in the scene and many of us teared up.

Amanda and I would like to thank everyone who came to support the families who have suffered the loss of a child. We also want to thank everyone for supporting our ministry and making it possible for us to help others through their pain. God has blessed us with the passion to share our stories and help others and paved a way for our work through each and every one of you. Thank you!

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